For the past fifteen years, I have greatly enjoyed teaching English as a Second Language classes to adult learners, but lately I have noticed a disturbing trend—the so-called adults seem to be getting younger and younger. Just this morning, one of my new students gave her birth year as 1996. At first I thought she said 1986, which was painful enough for me to hear because in 1986 I’d already been married for six years and had a four-year-old child. But, 1996, how is that even possible? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it still 1996?
That unwelcome brush with reality this morning really brought me up short (although it’s possible age-related osteopenia also contributed to my shrinking stature). Regardless, I realized that I had somehow failed to notice two decades of time zipping by and that realization started me on an earnest (and slightly desperate) search to redeem those lost years by finding the silver lining in being an “adult of longstanding.”
At first I had a hard time getting the ball rolling. I mean strip away the obvious (wink-wink) senior pleasures of downsized early bird portions and super-sized Jitterbug phone buttons and what are you left with? Your chins, that’s what. And, okay, maybe a few chin hairs too.
I’d begun to despair, thinking I’d never find any silver lining to the golden years, when the obvious hit me—silver and gold, the lyrics from the old song we used to sing in Girl Scouts. You know, way back in that other century.
“Make new friends, but keep the old.
One is silver and the other gold.”
How fortunate I am, I thought, that I have such a beautiful blend of both elements in my life. With the advancing years, I have suffered the heartbreaking loss of some of my golden friendships, but I am grateful to still have a few remaining. With a shared history of thirty or forty years—and a little more in some cases—between us, my golden friends and I continue to navigate life together, smoothing the rough patches for each other and holding each other close through the sharp twists and turns. I’ll never know anyone as long as I have known these women (unless I live another fifty years!). Like gold, lifetime relationships are rare and irreplaceable treasures. Yet as lovely and lustrous as gold is, silver is uniquely beautiful too. I have been amazed and delighted in the past few years, and even as recently as a month ago, to forge silver bonds of friendship with people that are as real and genuine as if we’d known each other all our lives. Unexpectedly connecting with kindred spirits later in life is a true gift as well.
Upon reflection, it appears that 2016, however it came to be, is a pretty good year for me—chins, chin hairs and all. I am incredibly grateful to hold such a substantial share of the precious metal market at this point in my life. And to my “adult” student born in 1996, I say, “May your life be blessed with an abundance of silver and gold, just as mine has been.”
Love this. Old friends see each other as we were not as we are today. That’s visually of course. They know our hearts and that’s what makes them gold.
Indeed, Diane! And they can help us see ourselves better than we can sometimes because they look past the chins into our hearts. Thanks so much for stopping by!
And old friends are really good at reminding us that we are much more than our sagging jawlines and other less-than-firm parts! Like you said, they see through to our hearts, even when we don’t.
Very beautifully said Lee! I have friendships with people that I’ve known since I was a teenager and some that I feel that I’ve known that long. I am so thankful for both!
And online friends, kindred souls, are a wonderful blessing of the cyber age! XO to you, cyber friend!
Beautifully said. I am blessed to have some of that richness in my life with dear friends who love me, as I love them.
Anyone who knows you a short or long time is blessed as well, lovely Jennifer!
It is very true—our friends from the younger years understand so much about us!! But it is so important to make new ones!
Time does keep advancing—whether we want it to or now—so enjoy!!
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
#midlifeblogger
Isn’t it amazing how you can text or two words to an old friend and they know exactly the reference (from, like, 10th grade social studies!) and laugh with you! Having lost close friends way too soon in life I really value those friendships that surprise us in later years and feel as close as if we’d known each other a long time. That’s such a bonus!
Making friends and keeping friends, a wonderful thought on valuing both through the many chins and chin hairs!
And really good friends help each other pluck. 🙂 It’s hard to do for yourself with these stinking bifocals! 🙂
Is it a coincidence that I too found a precious new friend a month ago? I think not, my sparkling silver friend. I love this post and your perspective on silver treasures among the gold. What a wonderful view of friendship as our ages advance.
No coincidence–just my good fortune, my 100% shiny sterling friend! XO
So much here! “Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it still 1996?” And “chins, chin hairs and all” I swear I could have written that line. Wait? DID I? 😉 As quickly as 2 decades can pass they can be just as rich. We just need to stop and notice sometimes. Thank goodness you have that twenty year old in your class.
It just defies the laws of all that is that I have a 34-year-old daughter when I myself am 37. And this nonsense about it being 2016–is that, like, some kind of metric measurement? Dog years? Nautical miles? What? Thanks for stopping by. I have to go pluck now. 🙂
Love this! My friends of 20+ years are the most precious, as they’ve seen it all and understand me as nobody else can.
I, too, am deeply upset that there are ‘adults’ around who were born in 1996! (& does that make the film of Trainspotting an adult now?!)Still, upsetting though the speedy passage of time is, this is a lovely look at the positives and the value of good friends, old and new.
Goodness…I was married in 1996…seems like a long long time ago to me…
Well, it really was awhile ago–20 years, but I still can’t believe how fast the time has gone. When I was younger, a year seemed an eternity and now I swear it’s July before I’ve even had a chance to crack open the new year’s calendar!